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Being With Dying: Cultivating Compassion And Fearlessness In The Presence Of Death

The Buddhist approach to death can be of great benefit to people of all backgrounds—as has been demonstrated time and again in Joan Halifax’s decades of work with the dying and their caregivers. Inspired by traditional Buddhist teachings, her work is a source of wisdom for all those who are charged with a dying person’s care, facing their own death, or wishing to explore and contemplate the transformative power of the dying process. Her teachings affirm that we can open and contact our inner strength, and that we can help others who are suffering to do the same.

Paperback: 224 pages

Publisher: Shambhala; 1 Reprint edition (November 17, 2009)

Language: English

ISBN-10: 1590307186

ISBN-13: 978-1590307182

Product Dimensions: 6 x 0.6 x 9 inches

Shipping Weight: 10.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)

Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (67 customer reviews)

Best Sellers Rank: #31,866 in Books (See Top 100 in Books) #41 in Books > Politics & Social Sciences > Philosophy > Eastern > Buddhism > Zen > Spirituality #54 in Books > Politics & Social Sciences > Sociology > Death #71 in Books > Self-Help > Death & Grief > Grief & Bereavement

I have scanned the market of books about caretakers and the dying process, and to me this is the finest book available on the subject.It is cut-to-the-bone view of dying with many personal case stories.The book is in my view not so well-structured. It is divided in sections, but these overlap, and it seems more like a long association about dying, care-taking and the death process. Sometimes the subject in focus is elaborated and sometimes there is a lot of condensed knowledge in a few sentences.But it doesn't matter.You are taken on a journey by this book. It contains so much knowledge (years of experience in the field), so much good advice for living more fully, and so many obvious ways to handle the dying process.The book describes subjects only rarely found in other similar books - how to take care of the body after death (which can be tremendous healing for grievers I must say from personal experience) and the shadow side of caregiving.I especially like the description of the dissolution of the elements just before death - indeed what it feels like physically to die - experienced from the inside!It contains many touching stories, and simple, yet profound sentences of great wisdom - summations of experience from Joan's many hours and years on the bedside of dying fellow human beings.I only read about 20-30 pages a day to have time to think about and absorb the knowledge in the book.It is stressed again and again that there are no single good way to die. What the dying person experiences can be so very different from what family, friends, and caretakers experience from the outside.

BEING WITH DYING is specifically aimed at professional caregivers, but non-professional caregivers, such as family members and friends who provide caregiving for a dying person, will find excellent support to guide them along their spiritual path.With unflinching honesty and deep compassion for the dying person, Halifax explores all the aspects of dying and death that, in being with a dying person, a caregiver may experience. She deals with the spiritual, physical, mental and emotional processes that dying activates and how this affects both the dying person and those around him.There was some bias against family members and friends acting as caregivers to the dying. All her empathy lies with the dying person, which is as it should be, but Halifax is, at times, quite unsympathetic to the emotional pain, suffering and struggle from the family caregivers' side. Her negative view of caretaker archetypes reveals a subtle disdain for the role of family caregivers.Unfortunately, this slightly detracts from the inherent wisdom of her advice and Buddhist philosophy. Not all of us have the temperament or self-mastery to become a detached caregiver. All non-professional caregivers do is try to give their loved ones the best that they can out of love. Yes, with hindsight, the mistakes they make may have made dying more difficult for the departing soul, but the resulting guilt also makes the loss harder to bear even when the non-professional caregiver knows the loved one's soul is finally at peace. Halifax's compassion was all for the dying and there was very little left over for the family members living for years in that strange limbo between deep love, anticipatory grief, impending loss and physical exhaustion.

Being with Dying: Cultivating Compassion and Fearlessness in the Presence of Death Comfortable with Uncertainty: 108 Teachings on Cultivating Fearlessness and Compassion Essentials in Hospice Palliative Care - Second Edition: A basic end-of-life manual explaining how to care for the dying and helps health care workers, family and patients deal with death and dying. Cultivating Edible Fungi: International Symposium on Scientific and Technical Aspects of Cultivating Edible Fungi (Developments in Crop Science) The Great Path of Awakening: The Classic Guide to Lojong, a Tibetan Buddhist Practice for Cultivating the Heart of Compassion (Shambhala Classics) Compassion Haiku: Daily insights and practices for developing compassion for yourself and for others J. D. Robb CD Collection 2: Rapture in Death, Ceremony in Death, Vengeance in Death (In Death Series) Ethnic Variations in Dying, Death and Grief: Diversity in Universality (Death Education, Aging and Health Care) The Way of Mindful Education: Cultivating Well-Being in Teachers and Students (Norton Books in Education) The Places that Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times (Shambhala Classics) From Fear to Fearlessness: Teachings on the Four Great Catalysts of Awakening The Pema Chodron Audio Collection: Pure Meditation:Good Medicine:From Fear to Fearlessness Meditations on Intention and Being: Daily Reflections on the Path of Yoga, Mindfulness, and Compassion Bioethics, Law, and Human Life Issues: A Catholic Perspective on Marriage, Family, Contraception, Abortion, Reproductive Technology, and Death and Dying (Catholic Social Thought) Into the Light: Helping animal lovers understand and care for pets through the process of dying and death Life Lessons: Two Experts on Death and Dying Teach Us About the Mysteries of Life and Living The Dreamer's Book of the Dead: A Soul Traveler's Guide to Death, Dying, and the Other Side Grief, Dying, and Death: Clinical Interventions for Caregivers The Sacred Art of Dying: How the World Religions Understand Death Dying to Be Me: My Journey from Cancer, to Near Death, to True Healing