Free Downloads Leave A Cheater, Gain A Life: The Chump Lady's Survival Guide
Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life is a no-nonsense self-help guide for anyone who has ever been cheated on. Here’s advice not based on saving your relationship after infidelity—but saving your sanity.When it comes to cheating, a lot of the attention is focused on cheaters—their unmet needs or their challenges with monogamy. But Tracy Schorn (aka Chump Lady) lampoons such blameshifting and puts the focus squarely on the-cheated-upon (chumps) and their needs. Combining solid advice that champions self-respect, along with hilarious cartoons satirizing the pomposity of cheaters, Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life offers a fresh voice for chumps who want (and need) a new message about infidelity. This book will offer advice on Stupid sh*t cheaters say and how to respond, Rookie mistakes of the recently chumped and how to disarm your fears, Why chumps take the blame and how to protect yourself, and more.Full of snark, sass, and real wisdom about how to bounce back after the gut blow of betrayal, Schorn is the friend who guides you through this nightmare and gives you hope for a better life ahead.
Paperback: 240 pages
Publisher: Running Press (May 10, 2016)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0762458968
ISBN-13: 978-0762458967
Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.8 x 8.2 inches
Shipping Weight: 1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars See all reviews (108 customer reviews)
Best Sellers Rank: #44,766 in Books (See Top 100 in Books) #53 in Books > Parenting & Relationships > Family Relationships > Divorce #66 in Books > Humor & Entertainment > Humor > Self-Help & Psychology #386 in Books > Self-Help > Relationships > Love & Romance
This is a must read book for anyone who has discovered a partner has been unfaithful or for anyone who wants to support an infidelity survivor! In this book and on her blog, Tracy gives language to the infidelity experience--i.e. the "chump" experience--to help those of us who have undergone this sucker-punch from Hell.The vulgarities used at times might not be everyone's preference; however, there's no denying this is one "street smart" guide for those needing a good friend to guide them through the infidelity mess.
At a time when your whole world is literally falling to pieces, this book provides a very direct approach to understanding your situation and the steps you need to take to regain your good emotional health. So many infidelity resources seem strongly biased towards forgiveness and reconciliation, no matter how badly the victim has been treated. Tracy is one of the few lifelines out there who holds cheaters accountable for their own bad and unkind choices. Her advice in empowering and inspirational and much needed at a time when you've just been sucker punched. This book is your first step in regaining balance and learning to trust your instincts and protect your interests.
Finally, straight talk about infidelity that doesn't do any of the following:*place blame on the victim of the betrayal ("Affair proof your marriage!" "How did you drive your partner to cheat?")*excuse, legitimize or minimize infidelity ("Monogamy is unrealistic." "Anyone could cheat." "Maybe it's a sex addiction.")*cast infidelity as modern, sophisticated, and completely natural ("The affair was an act of exuberant defiance! A quest for aliveness!")What this book does do is portray infidelity exactly as it is and offer THE BEST advice to those who have been betrayed. Chump Lady calls it like it is with a great sense of humor about a painful topic. Infidelity has become increasingly seen as something that "just happens", something that is caused by situations and external factors, rather than by a cheater's defective character. As Chump Lady points out, there are two very respectable things for people to do when they are unhappy in a committed, monogamous relationship--work on things or break up. But cheating on your partner, risking their health, lying, manipulating and gas lighting them is not respectable, decent or kind. It is cruel, abusive and yes, wrong. And why stay with a partner who is capable of doing such awful things? I read a lot of books after facing the soul-crushing realization that my partner was a cheater, and this was the only one to tell it like it is. If you're dealing with the terrible pain of betrayal, this book is immensely helpful. Highly recommended!
And I have read them all, including the writings of all those snake oil salesmen on the Internet who will tell you how to save your marriage in the wake of infidelity. My only wish is that I had discovered Chump Lady sooner before I tried to "save my marriage" and put myself through even more heartache and humiliation. Tracy Schorn's writings were critical in helping in transform what I thought was by far the most devastating event in my life (discovering my ex-husband's affair shortly after the birth of my second child) into a true blessing in disguise and probably one of the best things that happened in my life ever (which I never thought I would say). Not only will Tracy's book help you decode your cheater's seemingly baffling behavior and utterances (which you will learn are pretty typical of cheaters), but help you psychologically recover and see your spouse for the true person that s/he is (which may be hard to digest initially)--which I think is important in moving on and discovering things about yourself that will help you grow and live a much more fulfilling and authentic life (e.g., why were you willing to be with such a person and tolerate such behavior from him/her and likely others?).
Finding out that your spouse has been cheating on you is one of the most devastating and life altering experiences one can go through. If you are looking for answers about why your spouse strayed, if you are looking for ways to better understand your options post-Discovery Day (DDay), this book is a must have. This book offers advice on what to do right after DDay, and how to discern whether your cheater is sorry for what s/he did (vs sorry for getting caught). This book is also filled with humor and practical advice on protecting your sanity and your assets (via a post-nup or a divorce) whether you decide to stay a while or leave upon discovering you are married or coupled with a cheater. If you are already divorced, this book can be immensely helpful to guide you about ongoing co-parenting issues with your cheater-ex. This book will give you the insights and practical roadmap you need to build your post-infidelity life with dignity and self-respect.
This is a wonderful book. I love the idea of leaving cheaters and liars and getting on with life. Out with the reconciliation concept and in with the new "See ya clown" mentality. I mean you only live once right? Why waste it with abusers? Leave a cheater and gain a life. Tracy Rocks!!!
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