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The Highly Sensitive Child: Helping Our Children Thrive When The World Overwhelms Them

The bestselling author and psychologist whose books have topped 240,000 copies in print now addresses the trait of “high sensitivity” in children–and offers a breakthrough parenting guidebook for highly sensitive children and their caregivers.With the publication of The Highly Sensitive Person, Elaine Aron became the first person to identify the inborn trait of “high sensitivity” and to show how it affects the lives of those who possess it. Up to 20 percent of the population is born highly sensitive, and now in The Highly Sensitive Child, Aron shifts her focus to highly sensitive children, who share the same characteristics as highly sensitive adults and thus face unique challenges as they grow up. Rooted in Aron’s years of experience as a psychotherapist and her original research on child temperament, The Highly Sensitive Child shows how HSCs are born deeply reflective, sensitive to the subtle, and easily overwhelmed. These qualities can make for smart, conscientious, creative children, but with the wrong parenting or schooling, they can become unusually shy or timid, or begin acting out. Few parents and teachers understand where this behavior comes from–and as a result, HSCs are often mislabeled as overly inhibited, fearful, or “fussy,”or classified as “problem children” (and in some cases, misdiagnosed with disorders such as Attention Deficit Disorder). But raised with proper understanding and care, HSCs are no more prone to these problems than nonsensitive children and can grow up to be happy, healthy, well-adjusted adults. In this pioneering work, parents will find helpful self-tests and case studies to help them understand their HSC, along with thorough advice on:• The challenges of raising an highly sensitive child• The four keys to successfully parenting an HSC • How to soothe highly sensitive infants• Helping sensitive children survive in a not-so-sensitive world• Making school and friendships enjoyableWith chapters addressing the needs of specific age groups, from newborns through teens, The Highly Sensitive Child delivers warmhearted, timely information for parents, teachers, and the sensitive children in their lives.

Paperback: 368 pages

Publisher: Harmony; 1 edition (October 8, 2002)

Language: English

ISBN-10: 0767908724

ISBN-13: 978-0767908726

Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.9 x 8.2 inches

Shipping Weight: 10.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)

Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (152 customer reviews)

Best Sellers Rank: #2,942 in Books (See Top 100 in Books) #7 in Books > Parenting & Relationships > Special Needs #16 in Books > Health, Fitness & Dieting > Psychology & Counseling > Child Psychology #88 in Books > Parenting & Relationships > Parenting

Aron's text is written for parents, but could be useful for practitioners as well, who need to help in reframing a child's high level of sensitivity (often negatively perceived by others) into something positive. If for no other reason, this book is worth the time.What I particularly liked was her use of "scripts" and substitute phrases. My daughter has been labeled "shy" by others for so long that she has now internalized the concept. While I corrected people, I became befuddled, awkward, and resentful on her behalf. I wish I had memorized Aron's reply: "my daughter is observant and quite sensitive to her surroundings. Like other children, she will talk (or play) when she chooses to." How much more empowering that could have been (will be) for her.Other aspects of note were the suggestions for taking breaks to de-escalate the arousal, and for increasing participation of the children in finding solutions to the problems they might be experiencing. These are not typical parenting techniques (e.g., respond immediately to the problem, set limits, be consistent no matter what) but Aron points out that escalation doesn't solve problems and children cannot learn in highly aroused states. I would add that there is a very large body of research on attachment that further supports the long-term emotional risks to relationships when children are in high states of anxiety, fear, guilt, shame, and even hysteria. As a PhD in child studies, it doesn't make behavioral sense to move your child closer when they are acting worse in time out. That is not how The theory of Extinction works. So I understand why some reviewers see this as coddling.

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