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Not "Just Friends": Rebuilding Trust And Recovering Your Sanity After Infidelity

One of the world’s leading experts on infidelity provides a step-by-step guide through the process of marital infidelity—from suspicion and revelation to healing, and provides profound, practical guidance to prevent cheating and, if it happens, recover and heal from it.You’re right to be cautious when you hear these words: “I’m telling you, we’re just friends.” Good people in good marriages are having affairs. The workplace and the Internet have become fertile breeding grounds for “friendships” that can slowly and insidiously turn into love affairs. Yet you can protect your relationship from emotional or sexual betrayal by recognizing the red flags that mark the stages of slipping into an improper, dangerous intimacy that can threaten your marriage.

Paperback: 448 pages

Publisher: Atria Books; 31992nd edition (February 3, 2004)

Language: English

ISBN-10: 0743225503

ISBN-13: 978-0743225502

Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 1.1 x 8.4 inches

Shipping Weight: 13.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)

Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (315 customer reviews)

Best Sellers Rank: #10,045 in Books (See Top 100 in Books) #22 in Books > Parenting & Relationships > Family Relationships > Conflict Resolution #22 in Books > Self-Help > Relationships > Conflict Management #91 in Books > Parenting & Relationships > Marriage & Adult Relationships

I'd like to take a minute to comment on the value and meaning of this book to me. I am a woman who has been married to the same man for 28 years. We have 2 grown children, and have gone throught the issues many long-term married couples go through, including infidelity. I found out about my husband's affair from to woman's husband several years after it was over. Everyone "thought I knew"....I did not, although I knew we were having trouble. I just thought it would work itself out. It did, but that was because my husband ended the affair. You can't be "friends" with two women or men on the level it takes to have an intimate relationship. Let me say that I have a PhD in Nursing, am faculty at a large university in the Southwest and am very knowledgeable about family relationships. I did not "know" my husband was having an affair with a woman he called "just my friend"( I can't really say if I was in denial or not, but that doesn't seem valid to me). The affair lasted off and on for about six years. My life, and the lives of our children were "hell" during this time, for lack of a better word. Dr. Glass correctly states that if you are better friends with another person than your spouse, you have opened yourself up to be more intimate with another person than the one you vowed to cherish. If you are to be in a satisfied, committed relationship, a close relationship with a member of the opposite sex is frought with complications. You can't be "loyal" to two men or women at the same time ( This is particularly difficult for me to say, because I have always regarded myself as a feminist. The problem is the other woman was not, and wanted my husband.) This is my opinion, based on information I have gathered professionally and personally, but I believe in Dr.

I'm surprised by the negative feedback. I wonder if these people have ever experienced an affair? I, unfortunately, had to experience the horror of my husband having an affair. I can honestly say that I saw myself and my husband in almost ALL of this book... can't say much about the OW since I don't give a darn about her... but if it was so on the mark with my husband and I, it most likely is with her... (I admit I skipped that chapter on HER since I don't care at all about what she was feeling as she seduced a married man. I know it went both ways, but I know she made many many phone calls to him and kept the communication between them wide open to make him feel she was so trustworthy and full of wisdom).I knew the signs and felt them coming. This book helps one see what kind of relationships could snowball - as it did in our situation. I felt uncomfortable when they went on a business trip together (which started everything) and felt something wasn't right when he went to lunch with her so often. That's how it all began! Then IMing, emails, phone calls, late nights at work, early mornings BEFORE work... the list goes on and on. Ladies, keep your eyes open all the time. I thought my husband would be the last person on earth who would cheat on me, but he did. He talked to her about all our problems and of course, she could relate to it and explain why she divorced... made it seem like the right thing to do since our marriage was "over" anyway. How she could convince him when he had a brandnew baby (6 wks & 3 yrs) at home and how he could ever think that it is a good time to leave is beyond me. He said, "It's never the perfect time to leave." HA Sounds like something a woman would say if she were trying to convince someone to leave their wife!

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