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How To Talk So Teens Will Listen And Listen So Teens Will Talk

From the widely-acclaimed HOW TO TALK series, discover the tools to combat the often stormy years of adolescence. Packed with practical, accessible advice and guidelines, both parents and teens will learn how to: * Engage cooperation * Take appropriate action * Avoid lectures * Express your feelings and understand each other * Work out solutions together --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Paperback: 203 pages

Publisher: William Morrow Paperbacks; Reprint edition (August 22, 2006)

Language: English

ISBN-10: 0060741260

ISBN-13: 978-0060741266

Product Dimensions: 5.3 x 0.5 x 8 inches

Shipping Weight: 14.1 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)

Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (1,350 customer reviews)

Best Sellers Rank: #4,176 in Books (See Top 100 in Books) #16 in Books > Parenting & Relationships > Parenting > Teenagers #705 in Books > Health, Fitness & Dieting

Nineteen years ago I had reached the end of my "motherhood rope". The kids were fighting, whining, manipulating, throwing tantrums... just generally being "kids." But one day it just became way too overwhelming, so I left them home with their dad and escaped to the mall. While in the bookstore I couldn't help but notice an enticing book cover: "How To Talk So Kids Will Listen And Listen So Kids Will Talk." "That'll be the day!" I grunted, but walked across the aisle to page through the book... Inside I noticed what an easy read this book was for busy mothers like myself; cartoons showing me skills such as "Instead of nagging, try saying it with a word!" Interesting! I took the book home and that very skill was the first one I tried ----- and the first of many that worked! (Instead of nagging that we didn't own the electric company because I saw the bathroom light had been left on, I simply said "Lights!" and the kids actually jumped up to shut the light!) Amazing!! I had to share this wonderful book with my friends at the PTA!! The PTA said "We'll sponsor a workshop if you lead it!" I agreed, and have been leading workshops based on the Faber/Mazlish series successfully for the past nineteen years. The only thing missing was help for the parents of teenagers, but thanks to the authors, that problem is now solved. The positive feedback on this book from parents in my classes has been heartwarming. Unruly, sullen teens were now taking the time to have conversations with their parents, agreeing to accompany families on vacations, cleaning their rooms, and getting haircuts!!! There was no end to the good news I was receiving in my classrooms! Is this book a magic bullet? A miracle cure to the teenage "attitude disease?" Wake up!

My husband bought this book when our oldest child was 10. We realized we weren't communicating well and were frightened that we would lose our relationship altogether when she hit her teenage years. Well, the book was a godsend. The authors basically teach you how to treat your child like a capable and worthy person, when you may be treating them as irresponsible, unimportant, or unlikeable. They first convince you to stop criticizing your children for what they think or feel, and to acknowledge how they might be feeling when they tell things to you. I know this sounds touchy-feely, but acknowledging feelings doesn't mean giving your kids any leeway in their behavior. For example, instead of saying "You shouldn't be mad at your brother, he's only three!" you say "I can see that it makes you angry when he messes up your things. But yelling is not allowed in our house." or, "He's too young to understand how special those are to you, so how can we keep your things safe?" You let your child know you are paying attention to how they feel, BEFORE you focus on solving the problem. The second thing they emphasize is to make correcting behavior about the behavior, and not about the child. Instead of "Get your homework! You always forget things!" you just say, "Homework needs to go to school with you." One thing we had a problem with at first is that the authors do not support time-outs. We had always been big believers in consequences for behavior, and had relatively well-behaved children with the time-out method. Well, we gave it a try, and were amazed. We found that we were fully able to correct our children's behaviors without time-out at all. And in fact, they were happier and less disobedient in general when they weren't constantly being sent away from the family in disgrace.

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