Free Downloads How To Be An Adult In Relationships: The Five Keys To Mindful Loving
"Most people think of love as a feeling," says David Richo, "but love is not so much a feeling as a way of being present." In this book, Richo offers a fresh perspective on love and relationships—one that focuses not on finding an ideal mate, but on becoming a more loving and realistic person. Drawing on the Buddhist concept of mindfulness, How to Be an Adult in Relationships explores five hallmarks of mindful loving and how they play a key role in our relationships throughout life: 1. Attention to the present moment; observing, listening, and noticing all the feelings at play in our relationships. 2. Acceptance of ourselves and others just as we are. 3. Appreciation of all our gifts, our limits, our longings, and our poignant human predicament. 4. Affection shown through holding and touching in respectful ways. 5. Allowing life and love to be just as they are, with all their ecstasy and ache, without trying to take control. When deeply understood and applied, these five simple concepts—what Richo calls the five A's—form the basis of mature love. They help us to move away from judgment, fear, and blame to a position of openness, compassion, and realism about life and relationships. By giving and receiving these five A's, relationships become deeper and more meaningful, and they become a ground for personal transformation.
Paperback: 272 pages
Publisher: Shambhala; 1 edition (June 18, 2002)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1570628122
ISBN-13: 978-1570628122
Product Dimensions: 6 x 0.7 x 9 inches
Shipping Weight: 9.1 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars See all reviews (243 customer reviews)
Best Sellers Rank: #8,523 in Books (See Top 100 in Books) #54 in Books > Politics & Social Sciences > Philosophy > Eastern > Buddhism #103 in Books > Self-Help > Relationships > Love & Romance #127 in Books > Self-Help > Relationships > Interpersonal Relations
...our individual lives, all relationships, and the world would be magnificent beyond anything we've so far imagined or believed could be possible. High and deserved praise for this book.I read this book a few years ago and refer to it time and again to not only remind myself but also to share with friends regarding their relationships. This book is like having multiple books in one. I'd like to write some highlights for you, but the entire book is a highlight. Some samplings, however, of this great book..."Here are the words of an adult: "Even though you please me sexually, even though we have been together so long, even though I don't know whether I will ever find somone else, I have to let you go because you do not meet me at my soul/adult level." "Here are the words of a codependent: "Because you please me sexually, because we have been together so long, because I don't know whether I will ever find someone else, I can't let you go-- even though you do not meet me at my soul/adult level.""As adolescents, we were taught that the way to tell we are in love is by our loss of control, our loss of will, and a compelling sense that we could not have done otherwise. This falling in love contrasts with the reality of rising in love with conscious choice, sane fondness, intact boundaries, and ruthless clarity." Referring to the former, Richo adds, "...that kind of reaction is actually a signal from the needy child within, telling us what we need to work on, not directing us to our rescuer.""Love can be confused with clinging that is welcomed by the other, sexual desire that is satisfied by the other, or neediness that is fulfilled by the other.
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