Free Downloads Parenting A Child Who Has Intense Emotions: Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills To Help Your Child Regulate Emotional Outbursts And Aggressive Behaviors
Temper tantrums in the supermarket. Tears that seem to come out of nowhere. Battles over homework that are more like wars. When your child has problems regulating his or her emotions, there's no hiding it. Children with intense emotions go from 0 to 100 in seconds and are prone to frequent emotional and behavioral outbursts that leave parents feeling bewildered and helpless.Other parents may have told you that it's just a phase or that your child needs discipline. In reality, your child may have emotion dysregulation, a tendency to react intensely to situations other children take in stride. Parenting a Child Who Has Intense Emotions is an effective guide to de-escalating your child's emotions and helping your child express feelings in productive ways. You'll learn strategies drawn from dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), including mindfulness and validation skills, and practice them when your child's emotions spin out of control. This well-researched method for managing emotions can help your child make dramatic emotional and behavioral changes that both of you will be proud of.
Paperback: 207 pages
Publisher: New Harbinger Publications; 1 edition (November 1, 2009)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1572246499
ISBN-13: 978-1572246492
Product Dimensions: 0.8 x 6 x 9 inches
Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars See all reviews (54 customer reviews)
Best Sellers Rank: #16,562 in Books (See Top 100 in Books) #34 in Books > Self-Help > Emotions #51 in Books > Parenting & Relationships > Special Needs #225 in Books > Science & Math > Behavioral Sciences
I am the parent of five children. Four of them are able to manage their emotions and social interactions appropriately. This book has been extremely beneficial for me to more effectively parent my fifth child who struggles with intense anger and mood swings and who has difficulty maintaining friendships and making safe and healthy decisions. The parenting techniques I use for my other children don't work for this child. This book helps parents recognize when their child is in emotional distress; it teaches you how to help your child manage these overwhelming emotions and how to respond differently to behaviors you want to decrease. Other aspects of this book that I appreciate and recommend to other parents are the chapters on taking care of yourself and on how one child's emotional disregulation impacts the whole family. I have post-its throughout the book, and you will too!
In this very readable book, Harvey and Penzo give many practical suggestions for parents who are dealing with a child who has frequent intense emotional outbursts. They point out that a child's angry, explosive behaviors are the way he has learned to manage his feelings, and that he needs to be taught new skills. Expecting a child to know how to behave in all situations is unrealistic. He must be taught until he can use skills in all situations.Just as the child needs new skills, this book teaches new skills to parents to help them more effectively help a child manage his emotions. The goal of the book is to help parents think and respond "wisely", incorporating both feelings and logic, when responding to the child's behavior.The authors recommend that parents remind themselves that their child "is doing the best he can," and that they balance "acceptance of your child in the moment with expecting and helping him to do things better in the future." At the same time, they remind parents that "you are doing the best you can and that you can do better."As a parent of a child with intense emotions, and an elementary teacher, I highly recommend this book for parents, families, educators, and other professionals. The practical strategies are useful for our work with all children to make them (and us) happier and more effective.
For parents of very young kids [say under age 12], the real change is in how you react to your kids. You have to give a lot of forethought to their day and pending situations. It is time-consuming and tiring and it will seem as if you are tip-toeing around a child - a child who's outbursts have driven you crazy, and who apparently is still ruling the household. You will resent it. Big time. I know; I did. However, it works. Following even some of the advice in this books makes the child feel more secure in his environment. Secure enough to make a change in his behavior; to mature and grow into another way of communicating. When he's not being controlled by the tyranny of "uncontrollable" urges and emotions, that's when thoughtfulness, growth and a real change is possible.It's weird and work, but DBT is very powerful. I compare it to helping an someone who's addicted to nicotine or heroin kick their habit. It can take a long time. Things may even get worse before they get better [using my analogy, a smoker may gain a lot of weight], but eventually they do re-train themselves and learn how to react more appropriately. Be advised: these may always be high-strung people.
Of all the books I have read, this one is the clearest explanation of why my teen acts the way she does and more importantly, what parenting strategies can help us cope. I have tried many of the techniques in the book over the last several months and each one has not only proven effective, but has improved the relationship between me and my daughter. My daughter has been diagnosed with Bi Polar Disorder and shows many Borderline Personality Disorder symptoms. I did not understand her "rages and irrational explosions", let alone how to deal with them. The techniques in this book are workable solutions to provide parents with the tools to de-escalate their teens emotions and subsequently help the child to learn to calm themselves down. I would strongly recommend this book.
I am a mom of a 10 year old with mood disorder NOS. This book has helped me regain control in my life. Each chapter will help you understand your child and teach you to change the way you respond to emotional situations. Validating your child, using wise mind, taking time for yourself are ways DBT can make a difference. Parenting a Child Who Has Intense Emotions is a must read. It will reduce stress and change your life-it has changed mine!
Harvey and Penzo gave us a quintessential bible of principles and techniques that dramatically changed how we interacted as a family. It is a MUST READ in order to help you and your child be more effective.
I read as many books on this topic as I can. This book will change the way that your family experiences and copes with intense emotions.I have had the opportunity to use the book in the the Parent Support Groups I facilitate (Parenting Children with Emotion Regulation Difficulties, ... with Asperger Syndrome, ... with Non-Verbal Learning Disorder, ... with Bipolar Disorder. Each parent has expressed his or her comfort with the book's blend of theory and example and have learned about their own thoughts and feelings through completing the activities. In addition, I have sent copies to friends that have struggled to understand and handle their children's emotional outbursts effectively. I cannot recemmend a book on this toipic any more highly, as a professional or a parent.
This book is fairly good and has some very interesting points. It has honestly helped in ways. The only negative review is that I think the book is extremely repetitive.
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