Free Downloads Choosing You: Deciding To Have A Baby On My Own
All her adult life, Alexandra Soiseth has wanted a husband, children, dogs and cats—a busy, loving, home. But at thirty-nine, with no husband on the horizon, she decides to take matters into her own hands.She googles for sperm.Choosing You is Alexandra's memoir. With humor and heart, she shares the often gut-wrenching reality she faces in having a baby on her own—a mother and father who disapprove, friends who think she's crazy, a society that thinks she's selfish. But it is her struggle with weight and self image, possible infertility, and the terror of bringing a child into this world without a father that almost stops her from getting what she wants most—a family.Alexandra's story shows us all that with a little guts, a lot of love, and the internet, almost anything is possible.
Paperback: 289 pages
Publisher: Seal Press (April 29, 2008)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1580052223
ISBN-13: 978-1580052221
Product Dimensions: 5.6 x 0.8 x 7.4 inches
Shipping Weight: 10.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars See all reviews (19 customer reviews)
Best Sellers Rank: #801,606 in Books (See Top 100 in Books) #129 in Books > Parenting & Relationships > Parenting > Single Parents #1469 in Books > Parenting & Relationships > Family Relationships > Motherhood #7822 in Books > Politics & Social Sciences > Women's Studies
It's not the author's fault, certainly, but very much groups this book in with other books that contain practical information on going about becoming a single Mom. There is almost no info of any practical kind in Choosing You, however; she basically picks her first option and has no problems with it. ("I Googled for sperm" is, in fact, pretty much all the info you get.) Instead, it's a memoir of the "confessional" type, where, after decades of therapy, she shares first-hand her issues with her weight, her issues with her mom, her issues with sex, her issues with boyfriends... but, instead of her paying her therapist to listen, you're paying her to read about it. A lot of people seem to have adored this, but I got it for a friend who's trying to understand some of the practical challenges and options ahead of her, and there's nothing here for that. Just know what you're getting and you won't be as disappointed as we were.
As a first time expectant single mother I purchased this book b/c it's one of the few resources for single mothers to be. Ms. Soiseth is a very good and entertaining writer, and this book mixes humor, sensitivity with basic information for women seeking information on the topics at hand. However, a word of caution is in order....as the content goes, as wonderful as it was that the author was able to get pregnant in such an easy way with a few dollars and in the midst of depression, the crude reality of women going through similar processes, from personal experience, is that getting pregnant is a VERY costly procedure [financially, emotionally and psychologically] and comes with responsibilities that are NOT to be taken lightly as it is often presented in the narrative of this book. Other than that, very nice reading!!!
I liked hearing about her personal journey, from her childhood to having a baby on her own. When I decided to have a child on my own, I found a lot of "garbage" books online that had nothing to do with my situation, and ended up being a waste of my time and money. This book was so well written, that I couldn't put it down and read it three times before and while I was pregnant. Kudos to Ms. Soiseth for putting her story out there, in such an entertaining fashion.
I sat down several hours ago to start reading this book and could not put it down. As a single woman considering becoming a mother, I found Ms. Soiseth's book heartwarming, funny and marvelously honest. Many of the books on this subject that I have read seem to gloss over the "scary bits" - the doubt, the challenges, etc. Her story was a complete picture of the experience, in all its wonderful, scary, and ultimately joyful glory!
I was excited when I found this book as I was hoping to read the story of someone who actually went through the whole SMC thing. I still liked reading the story itself just too see a point of view that I may not have thought of. However the author was very whiny the entire story. From the start where she described how disgustingly fat she was. How no one would ever be attracted to her. Was she looking for someone to disagree? I am glad that she lost the weight for herself and more than likely for her chance and luck at getting pregnant on the first try. However after she finally did have the baby again all she did was complain. Whined about how tired she was and she actually had the balls to yell at her parents telling them they had to comfort her and cook for her and offer her toast and water while she breast fed. This is where I was most annoyed. If I am lucky enough to conceive and have a baby and even if I do feel overwhelmed the last thing I will do is admit it to anyone! It was her choice to do what she did and she surely shoulda known it would be really really hard. She was also very short with her child. I just dont have a pretty picture painted of this woman as a person or a mother after reading the book. I am currently looking for another book to read written by someone that hopefully had a little bit more common sense about the whole thing
I recently read a wonderful interview with the late Grace Paley. She said, "I struggle to be truthful to myself. I think that's what literature is about; it's the struggle for truth. It's the struggle for what you don't understand." These words came to me again and again as I read Alexandra Soieth's book because although it is a clear and focused work on the decision to have a baby, it also exhibits the mark of the best kind of writing: the author seeks, explores and celebrates truth. Honest, forthright and entirely readable, this book made me proud to be a woman. It captures all the fluctuations of self-esteem and self-love we face, all the courage and cowardice we experience, all the depth in the recognition of our power to make life. I am officially inspired.
Given the number of good reviews, I was really looking forward to this book. I was greatly dissappointed though, as it is largely about the personal problems of the writer with being overweight, depressed etc rather than about choosing single motherhood. The latter aspect received very little attention throughout the book. We get to hear a lot about weight issues and taking anti-depressiva for which having a child merely serves as a backdrop. I furthermore couldn't escape the feeling that she was too busy worrying about her own issues instead of actually giving careful consideration to whether she wants to have a child at all and how this can be accomplished. I seriously hope this is not how people will see me, and it cast a bad light on people choosing single motherhood...In short, a complete waste of money.
This fascinating and painfully honest book takes you on a journey with one brave woman as she "chooses" her child. As she tackles head-on the thorny problems surrounding such a choice ("googling for sperm"!) the reader goes with her. It's for everyone who wants children, who has children, who has decided against having children because the soul-searching and practical implications touch us all - men included. Highly recommended!
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