Free Downloads When He's Married To Mom: How To Help Mother-Enmeshed Men Open Their Hearts To True Love And Commitment
When a Woman Is in an Emotional Tug-of-War for Her Man's Heart Why can't he commit? Many women find themselves asking this question when in love with a man who won't get married, won't stop womanizing, or refuses to give up his sex addictions. Often this kind of man is bound by an unhealthy attachment to his mother. This phenomenon is called "mother-son enmeshment." In When He's Married to Mom, clinical psychologist and renowned intimacy expert Dr. Kenneth M. Adams goes beyond the stereotypes of momma's boys and meddling mothers to explain how mother-son enmeshment affects everyone: the mother, the son, and the woman who loves him. In his twenty-five years of practice, Dr. Adams has successfully treated hundreds of enmeshed men and shares their stories in this informative guide. He provides proven methods to make things better, including: -- Guidelines to help women create fulfilling relationships with mother-enmeshed men -- Tools to help mother-enmeshed men have healthy and successful dating experiences leading to serious relationships and marriage -- Strategies to help parents avoid enmeshing their children When He's Married to Mom provides practical and compassionate advice to the women who are involved with mother-enmeshed men, to the mothers who wish to set them free, and to the men themselves.
Paperback: 267 pages
Publisher: Touchstone; 1 edition (March 13, 2007)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0743291387
ISBN-13: 978-0743291385
Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.9 x 8.4 inches
Shipping Weight: 15.5 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars See all reviews (44 customer reviews)
Best Sellers Rank: #50,095 in Books (See Top 100 in Books) #47 in Books > Parenting & Relationships > Family Relationships > Parent & Adult Child #53 in Books > Parenting & Relationships > Parenting > Parenting Boys #175 in Books > Health, Fitness & Dieting > Psychology & Counseling > Counseling
I swear this book was made for me. I have been dealing with a husband who is an only child, who is not only spoiled but married to his parents. His mother is very manipulative and controlling and my husband has been dealing with her for so long, he knows no other way to be. This book is great for learning tools to deal with your anger and frustration, without blowing up. I still can't let myself be close to my mother-in-law but I am learning to control my anger that was eating me up inside. I often told my husband that he was married to his mom and not me, and I was right!
This book has helped my husband realize for the first time in his 40 year long life, that he has not been treating me the way a typical man would treat a wife. He has always chosen his mothers needs, wants and feelings as a priority above my own. In the past he has allowed her to make extremely damaging, toxic remarks to me without any repercussion. My husband understands now that he was placed, unknowingly, into the role of that of a surrogate husband due to the lack of intimacy within his parent's marriage.I wish I had known about this book decades ago. I have put up with 20 years of abuse and my marriage has been nearly decimated by resentment, anger and sadness. I hope we can still make it through now that my husband has seen reality.
I was so glad to find this book. Seriously, it felt like someone dropped a brick on my head, the way it increased my clarity. I knew about "enmeshment" before, but I didn't know exactly how it worked. This book explains the mechanics behind growing up where a child is taken into confidence, and ends up taking care of the parent's misplaced emotional needs, instead of the parent taking care of the child. What it does to the child, what it does to the child after growing up, what it does to the parent...it's all here... and it shows how the problem is subtle and sneaky.The author, Dr. Lane, has considerable expertise in this field of study. He has had success in treating the problem. He advances his message of there being a way out, with a series of examples involving men who manifest the issue in different ways, from womanizing to commitment-phobia to eternal adolescence, and more. It talks about the ways this problem can show up in a person's life, from addictions to rage to financial failure. It explains why that is so. In the case studies, he shows the men confronting their inner conflicts in therapy, and what they had to surmount in order to come out in charge of their own lives. You may recognize aspects of someone you love in several of the men discussed. You can also flip it around and use the same ideas for women, who can also share this problem.I wanted to know what happens inside someone to create this way of living. Now I get it. I gained compassion from reading this. It took away my self-blame, and provided help in framing a stance in relation to what is going on. It points to action that some men will be able to take to resolve their issue. In the book, there is even a 63 year old man who was able to work through this problem, showing you're never too old... there is insight here and a suggested path out of the woods. Thank you to this therapist and author.
This book is about Mother Enmeshed Men and it will answer any questions you have about men who seem to be "married" to their moms instead of their wives or girlfriends. My husband is mother enmeshed and I never understood why he always took her side, did everything on earth for her, including vacations and paying for her house and repairs, until I read this book. I always told him I was tired of being second best and I would tell him it's like your mom is your wife, not me. He would blow it off, as usual, and say I was imagining things. Well I was not imagining things at all. This book explained all the ways a mother can make her son be her substitute husband, companion. Most often, the father is absent in some way, either divorced, deceased or just plain not there, probably because he was an emeshed man himself. The wife comes to depend on her son for all her needs, except sexual, and teaches him to respond to all those needs so he soon knows no other way then to cater to her needs. Guilt and shame develop when he feels like he can't do enough for her, plus try to move on with his own life, and so the enmeshment is created, forever, unless therapy is sought to correct it. My daughter bought this book for me and I am so glad she did because it has helped me understand alot about my husband. Now I need to try to convince him he needs therapy to get better and free himself from his guilt and shame and the addictions enmeshment causes. Oh, and it can happen to women too. My best friend is a mother enmeshed woman and now I know how to help her fix her life. Best book ever if you are in this kind of situation or know someone who is.
I had read our library's copy of this book. It was informative and had easy-to-read case studies of men who are enmeshed with their mothers. More importantly, it contains suggestions on how to help the guys out of this dilemna or helps the gals see when it's time to end the relationship.I just ordered two copies for gifts. Ladies, if you've run into too many 'momma's boys' or 'commitment-phobes," this could be the book for you.
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