Free Downloads RigorMortie: Death By Sex Puppet
RigorMortie, Death by Sex Puppet, a novel about stained love, lumpy sex and mind-altering odors, is quickly developing a cult following for its outrageous, "don't-drink-anything-while-you're-reading-because-you'll-spit-it-out-on-your-shirt" humor, offensive characters, and the authors' unmitigated dislike of most American institutions. In their first literary effort since a failed attempt to claim copyright ownership of The Bible, authors Dick and December Bouvier serve up a story that romps like a fat kid in a cupcake factory. Trapped under a dead 400 pound car salesman, a young woman's struggle to survive opens the door to a world of remorseless urine bombings, sticky Hitler puppets, and a religious fringe group devoted to military-style Catholicism, "poppin' bands" and "putting the Jesus back in Christ." Average Review: 4.9 of 5 stars!
Paperback: 272 pages
Publisher: RigorMortie LLC (January 6, 2016)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0997174617
ISBN-13: 978-0997174618
Product Dimensions: 6 x 0.6 x 9 inches
Shipping Weight: 13.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars See all reviews (36 customer reviews)
Best Sellers Rank: #177,941 in Books (See Top 100 in Books) #124 in Books > Literature & Fiction > Humor & Satire > Dark Humor #386 in Books > Literature & Fiction > Genre Fiction > Satire #1358 in Books > Humor & Entertainment > Humor > Satire
If you know before starting this book that the bulk of the narrative is a rambling, stream-of-consciousness journey through the absurdities of a wildly fictionalized, satirical, and HIGHLY cynical version of just about every American institution (the major three players being school, government, and church), then you’re in for a good time. The majority of each chapter provides the reader the backstories of Constance Anne, our “heroine” who survived the pedophilia-filled, racketeering-driven exploits of the mobster-helmed Catholic school she grew up in—despite close encounters with Nazi sex puppet paraphernalia—while the remainder of the chapter tells of her unravelling mystery in present-time.That mystery? Well, after escorting the corpulent used-car salesman Mortie to a hotel room where he meets a mysterious demise while attempting to conquer his comically delayed ejaculation problem…That’s about all the description you need to get the idea of what awaits you between the covers of this one (but seriously, pre-mature Mortie is not, as he typically finishes weeks after the inciting incident).While the authors’ constant provision of the backstory of every side character creates a rambling mess of a novel, that’s not exactly a problem, as it’s pretty much the spirit of this piece. And while this rambling does not make this book an easy pill to swallow in one sitting, it does provide some wild one-liners, many of which are sure to produce a chuckle or two, and how many “humor” books can do that?Trigger Warning: if you’re easily offended—well, what the hell are you doing reading a book with the subtitle “Death by Sex Puppet” anyway?
This has to be one of the craziest books I've ever read. But it's hilarious! Take situations we've all experienced at some point or another, exaggerate the heck out of them, add in some things that could never happen...yet read almost as if they could, and you have this story. The authors have such a way of putting things that it all just gels into a really good book. I did catch myself thinking several times what the inside of the authors heads must be like with all this rambling about in it...I just hope they write more of it down for us to read.
This book is crazy and and funny and will shock you more than once! Situations pop up that you wouldn't imagine and it keeps the book interesting. Definitely looking forward to the next concoction created.
Dick Bouvier has created a world that dances between the sexual and the grotesque in this riveting dark comedy. Funeral homes offering two for one deals, eastern European rappers promoting cars worse than Pinto, the interact love life of a 400 lbs car salesman, and of course sex puppets...I guarantee you have never read anything like this!Now that Bouvier has created this world I look forward to the (hopefully!) next book focusing more on each individual character, new and old, and see how they make it in FLorida. There is a strong foundation here, a love child between Kurt Vonnegut and John Waters,which will have you laugh, cry, and question what you truly find acceptable in society. Bravo Bouvier!
I am not a big fan of erotic books but a friend of mine introduced me to this book. I think the book is great to pass the time and just want to relax. I also think that the story is good however I would appreciate it if there are more romantic scenes rather than erotic.
If the grandchildren are visiting for the weekend, put this in the nightstand drawer. Once they on the way home, take it out and spend the rest of the weekend laughing out loud... or scratching your head wondering what was being consumed when this was being written. Crazy funny.
One of the craziest and funniest books you'll ever read! The story is insanely funny, and isn't afraid to be "not for everybody". If you aren't easily offended, you'll be laughing your head off from beginning to end - GUARANTEED. The imagery conjured up by the author is vivid and hysterical; a real universe is created in this story with out of this world characters. Constance is a complex but very endearing character who rides the wave of the hilarious hijinks in her world. The songs and jingles (found on http://www.rigormortie.com) are so catchy, you'll be chuckling out loud while you hum the beats to yourself. Of course, let's not forget Mr. Pup-Pup! With all of the colorful characterizations of the people in places in this story, you keep turning pages to learn more about them. For those who love their literature fast-paced and funny, RigorMortie will not disappoint. BUY it, you won't regret it. I'm looking forward to the Bouvier's next installment, I can't wait to see where this story goes...
Very interesting and attention grabbing book. Enjoyed reading this book greatly, as I enjoy reading suspense and mystery stories. Really brought me into the story, and there was a decent amount of sexual content and violence which really made this story a lot more interesting.
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