Free Downloads Masterminds And Wingmen: Helping Our Boys Cope With Schoolyard Power, Locker-Room Tests, Girlfriends, And The New Rules Of Boy World
Books for a Better Life Award WinnerHere is a landmark book that reveals the way boys think and that shows parents, educators and coaches how to reach out and help boys overcome their most common yet difficult challenges -- by the bestselling author who changed our conception of adolescent girls. Do you constantly struggle to pull information from your son, student, or athlete, only to encounter mumbling or evasive assurances such as “It’s nothing” or “I’m good?” Do you sense that the boy you care about is being bullied, but that he’ll do anything to avoid your “help?” Have you repeatedly reminded him that schoolwork and chores come before video games only to spy him reaching for the controller as soon as you leave the room? Have you watched with frustration as your boy flounders with girls? Welcome to Boy World. It’s a place where asking for help or showing emotional pain often feels impossible. Where sports and video games can mean everything, but working hard in school frequently earns ridicule from “the guys” even as they ask to copy assignments. Where “masterminds” dominate and friends ruthlessly insult each other but can never object when someone steps over the line. Where hiding problems from adults is the ironclad rule because their involvement only makes situations worse. Boy world is governed by social hierarchies and a powerful set of unwritten rules that have huge implications for your boy’s relationships, his interactions with you, and the man he’ll become. If you want what’s best for him, you need to know what these rules are and how to work with them effectively. What you’ll find in Masterminds and Wingmen is critically important for every parent – or anyone who cares about boys – to know. Collaborating with a large team of middle- and high-school-age editors, Rosalind Wiseman has created an unprecedented guide to the life your boy is actually experiencing – his on-the-ground reality. Not only does Wiseman challenge you to examine your assumptions, she offers innovative coping strategies aimed at helping your boy develop a positive, authentic, and strong sense of self.From the Hardcover edition.
Paperback: 384 pages
Publisher: Harmony; Reprint edition (July 29, 2014)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0307986683
ISBN-13: 978-0307986689
Product Dimensions: 5.2 x 0.9 x 8 inches
Shipping Weight: 9.9 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars See all reviews (203 customer reviews)
Best Sellers Rank: #9,594 in Books (See Top 100 in Books) #14 in Books > Education & Teaching > Schools & Teaching > Education Theory > Educational Psychology #19 in Books > Education & Teaching > Schools & Teaching > Counseling #19 in Books > Parenting & Relationships > Parenting > Parenting Boys
If you have sons, work with boys, or have any connection with boys in the 5th Grade and up...this book is a MUST read. Oh, and the great thing about it is you don't have to read the whole thing. Got a problem with a boy about:FriendsBody ImageCommunication (guess what - that shrug and clipped "fine" can actually mean something)LyingHelping boys handle angerSocial NetworkingVideo GamesBullying/Teasing (not just about the victim - also what to do if you see it or are part of it)Taking responsibility for actionsEmpathySportsSexualityGirlsAnd more issues interwoven in the above topicsThis book has a section devoted to each topic. You can read each section as you find time (or as you encounter an issue and want some quick insight). There's also a section on the effects of different parenting types.This book is written with the input of over 160 boys. It's not an instruction manual on how to raise boys. Rather, it gives you a glimpse on how boys think, what their perceptions are, what they are feeling and the problems they face in today's world.The author offers advice on how to deal with these issues given the input from the boys. She also includes "LANDMINES" or what not to do because it will backfire. Along with the landmines, she acknowledges you will probably find yourself in a landmine situation, then come to the book looking for advice. Don't worry, parenting usually offers you the ability to experience a situation more than once (smile), so you can refer to the book and have a better idea of how to handle yourself the next time.Here's an example of some of the insight provided.
As a mom of two boys, one who is entering jr. high, I was looking for something to help me navigate as he grows into a man. I read this book cover to cover, but you can pick specific chapters and focus on what you need to at the time. The chapters are listed in boy terms, so sometimes they're hard to decipher - such as Six-packing, no man's land, outward bound, and a section on things like Laxbros (boys who play Lacrosse) so you don't know what the chapters are about until you're reading them.I learned a ton from this book. And being open minded, a lot of what I was doing wrong. Rosalind and her crew of boys reveal the do's and don't of boy world and how us as parents can help guide, or be shut out of their lives. She breaks it down for you listing Landmines - things parents say and do that should be avoided (or perhaps reworded). She asks parents to "Check Their Baggage" making you think about your past experiences and how those are creeping into your current parenting style. And there are many quotes directly from BOYS themselves which are insightful and honest. It's eye opening. For example, I didn't know that boys lie so much or more importantly WHY!!?! I thought it was only my son, and now I have a new insight to the boy mind.Wiseman dives deep into how our society has shaped where our boys are now and how society has shaped our parenting. There are many ah-ha moments throughout the book on how negative we as a collective have made it for our boys. From unrealistic, unfeeling superheroes, emasculating coaches, fathers who expect son's to obey, and the constant ridicule from each other. It was depressing for me to really soak in just how difficult boy world is.
I have two sons aged 16 and 13 and have been a very hands on parent having homeschooled them from birth, but dealing with teen boy behavior that started two years ago has been a trial and a challenge to say the least. I had searched for wisdom about parenting teens and boys but the pickings were slim and not too helpful or were already outdated and irrelevant (from pre-Internet and pre-mobile phone times).Wiseman delivers a fairly thorough book that has helped me see things in a new light or reaffirmed what I already do, with quotes from boys underscoring and giving credibility to her opinions and advice. Wiseman included the input of boys throughout the writing process and I love that she used their quotes.Wiseman covers a wide range of topics, everything from social circles in boys with labels for different types to different parenting profiles and the pitfalls of each to how to deal with breaking down the wall they put up yet giving them space to become independent young men. She discusses issues with anger, reasonable limits on video games, girls, homosexuality, and sports. The chapter on lying is brilliant and should be read by every parent.I love the book and rate it 5 stars. I really appreciate this book and am recommending it to every parent of boys that I know.My only criticism, which is not big enough to downgrade the book's star rating or to take away from my loving it is that she is light on empathy or sympathy for parents. She seems to have a heart for the boys more than for the parents. I know we are the adults but please give us some kudos for doing the right thing most of the time! Her discussion of gray areas is light (moral dilemmas) as is her advice on drug and alcohol use.
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