Free Downloads Everything Is Workable: A Zen Approach To Conflict Resolution
Using mindfulness to work with and resolve the inevitable interpersonal conflicts that arise in all areas of life."Wonderfully engaging, perceptive, and wise."—William L. Ury, co-author of Getting to YesConflict is going to be part of your life—as long as you have relationships, hold down a job, or have dry cleaning to be picked up. Bracing yourself against it won’t make it go away, but if you approach it consciously, you can navigate it in a way that not only honors everyone involved but makes it a source of deep insight as well. Seasoned mediator Diane Hamilton provides the skill set you need to engage conflict with wisdom and compassion, and even—sometimes—to be grateful for it. She teaches how to:• Cultivate the mirror-like quality of attention as your base• Identify the three personal conflict styles and determine which one you fall into• Recognize the three fundamental perspectives in any conflict situation and learn to inhabit each of them• Turn conflicts in families, at work, and in every kind of interpersonal relationship into win-win situations
Paperback: 256 pages
Publisher: Shambhala (December 3, 2013)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1611800676
ISBN-13: 978-1611800678
Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.7 x 8.5 inches
Shipping Weight: 11.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars See all reviews (28 customer reviews)
Best Sellers Rank: #60,182 in Books (See Top 100 in Books) #65 in Books > Politics & Social Sciences > Philosophy > Eastern > Buddhism > Zen > Spirituality #537 in Books > Self-Help > Relationships > Interpersonal Relations #1014 in Books > Self-Help > Success
This is a wonderful book for experienced mediators or communication experts as well as for ordinary people with interest in working their day-by-day conflicts, irritations and life issues. The easy-reading quality makes it fun, the different tips, insights and techniques provide practical help and feasible approaches for everybody. And the deep realization of the author is shining between the lines and allowing to go deeper and deeper into the understanding not only of conflicts but also of our life in general. I am German and can also fully recommend it to non-native-English readers, as the language is not too complicated and all chapters are stuffed with beautiful examples of the authors own life as experienced mediator, family member and human being.
Ms Hamilton takes personal stories, life stories, and walks you through how to live a comfortable life with less conflict with yourself as well with others. She builds on a base that facing conflict is good, not to be avoided or covered up. How to be a stronger person, or happier with yourself, then move onto avoiding or resolving conflict with others by teaching principles that are basic.Ms Hamilton teaches how to listen, give and receive feedback, and to be thinking "inclusive" of all humans. Personally the first 30 pages were a challenge for me. I thought another book with a great title but the same information as others before it. But I was rewarded for sticking with it and enjoyed the book and gained knowledge on how to see that there are others perspectives to take into account, when you think you are the one who is right and the other person is wrong. I have chapter 17 marked to look back at it often. It is titled The Shadow In Conflict. It touched me deeply in understanding how I look at another person critically and shows how to overcome that critical view. 200 pages that are easy to read and I am sure you will be better after you have finished the book and the chapter reviews. Go buy this book.
Hamilton sees conflict as good news which can disrupt habitual patterns, invigorate us and bring new learning. Read this book and note which of three conflict styles you tend toward: aggression, avoidance or accommodating. In summary, if you are aggressive you can take up the practice of listening; if avoiding you can try to stay present; if you accommodate, you can risk expressing your opinion. One of the highlights is Hamilton’s treatment of the three fundamental perspectives: I, You, and It. She points out the importance of having your own perspective with the capacity to make your requests known and setting boundaries by saying, “No.” Then she makes it clear that being able to see from another’s perspective is not at all passive but a strength that involves the art of listening and taking in the other person without necessarily agreeing with them on everything. The It perspective includes the broad implications from the past and future with a sense of neutrality. Hamilton notes that anyone who can view from all three perspectives has emotional maturity, fearlessness, and insight, and such a person is a great gift.
If you want more integration between the spiritual and the emotional to fuel greater energy in your life….read this one! Beautifully syncs, the spirit, mind, heart and body in one great song. This is a rare treasure.Only a a deep meditator and practiced mediator of life could paint the landscapes of our human terrain and predicament in such a poignant manner as to not leave us hanging on the gallows, or wondering about our other parts. Diane takes us on a brilliant and humorous journey of unfolding our choices in life in such a clear way as to leave us never in the same jumble as we were before this great read! I highly recommend " "Everything is Workable" for all who want more compassionate integrated awareness and less torture in their everyday experience of life's challenges!Ellen Roseland
Diane Hamilton offers a thoughtful and sensitive voice of wisdom that reconnects us with a more grounded, spacious and wiser understanding of our human experience and the complexity of our relationships—both with ourselves and with others.Diane writes in such an accessible, engaging and frank voice, I found that sitting down to read this book felt like sitting down with a (very) wise friend for a cup of tea and a good conversation. Her reflections are pragmatic and provocative; they invite us as readers into greater self-acceptance and curiosity about others, and re-frame our experience of conflict. As I read and re-read, I noticed that my personal vantage point on the ups and downs of life was being shifted from a place of judgement or fixation to a more inclusive and open-hearted place, one where the light and dark or "goodness and badness" of things gave way to a more appreciative and un-biased view. Reading this book is itself an invitation into a more spacious and liberated awareness—highly recommend.
Hamilton's Everything is Workable flows like water! This book takes away any effort to read, and instead carries you forward in a effortless exploration of the nature of conflict and awakening. Clear, immensely accessible and beautifully written. Everything is Workable is evolving my relationship to conflict. It soothes the tensions in relationship and warmly awakens my heart. A must read!
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