Free Downloads 101 Questions To Ask Before You Get Engaged
The Perfect Remedy for Cold Feet!More than half of all couples who become engaged this year will never make it to the altar. Why? Leading experts believe it's because couples fail to really get to know their potential mate before getting engaged. Relationship expert and noted couples counselor Norm Wright steers potential brides and grooms through a series of soul-searching questions to discern if they've really met "the One."Couples will be much more confident about whether or not to pursue marriage after completing these in-depth and personal questions. Norm also addresses the delicate subject of calling off the wedding if readers discover that a potential mate isn't actually meant to be a life partner.
Paperback: 144 pages
Publisher: Harvest House Publishers; 37681st edition (June 1, 2004)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0736913947
ISBN-13: 978-0736913942
Product Dimensions: 5.2 x 0.3 x 8 inches
Shipping Weight: 1.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars See all reviews (260 customer reviews)
Best Sellers Rank: #6,583 in Books (See Top 100 in Books) #7 in Books > Self-Help > Relationships > Mate Seeking #14 in Books > Politics & Social Sciences > Sociology > Marriage & Family #28 in Books > Christian Books & Bibles > Christian Living > Dating & Relationships
Many of the questions in this book are excellent tools for getting to know your significant other better, as you are contemplating marriage to that person.The introduction, however, is basically a list of reasons not to get married, with little balance on the other end. For instance, the author quotes Rachel Safier, who wrote a book about women who called off their weddings(There Goes the Bride: Making Up Your Mind, Calling it Off and Moving On ). Safier's book is really popular with women who want confirmation that they did or are doing the right thing in dissolving their relationships; it's pretty one-sided in that way, as are many relationship books. But for people who have a fear of commitment due to family history or other causes, all this does (and all Safier's book does) is provide them with additional reasons to avoid marriage and commitment. Basically, the idea is if you don't feel absolutely certain, then you should dissolve the relationship. He even says something to effect of, if I haven't scared you away by now, then congratulations! Maybe this is because so many couples get engaged when they are still newly infatuated with each other, and not as worried about or simply blinded to the other person's character, background, lifestyle, personality, habits, etc.Ironically, the author even addresses the fact that some readers may be afraid of commitment later in the book, and he suggests that answering some of the questions may prove helpful in diminishing those fears. But, he should have addressed when he mentioned the reasons to not move forward. It's called balance.Are there red flags in relationships? Absolutely. He discusses abuse and other potential warning signs that one should look out for.
First, for those who didn't know, this book is written from a Christian point of view. But there are many issues that are universal to marriage regardless of one's religious background, so if you're not a Christian, I wouldn't discount the book altogether. There's some good conversation starters in here for you as well. Since the point of the book is to get you and your partner talking about important issues that will affect the quality of your potential marriage, I think it fulfilled its purpose in providing some very good topics to discuss, such as money issues, how you would like to interact with your family after marriage, and your overall expectations of marriage. I also like that at the bottom of each page there is an explanation of why the question presented is important for couples to discuss, or suggestions on how to approach the question.Some things I didn't like about the book:I like the idea of encouraging people to ask these very important questions before they even get engaged. So kudos there. But, I felt that the author suggested the idea of breaking off engagements even right up to the wedding way too much. Now, if you're in a relationship with someone who has some very serious character flaws (ie abusive, has addictions, criminal, etc) then yes, you should break things off. The author does a good job of trying to keep people from overlooking very serious flaws in a partner, but in the process does too much to encourage a lack of commitment. Engagement is serious business, and you really should be certain before you propose or accept a proposal. Just because movies and tv shows have made it fashionable or acceptable to call off weddings or leave people stranded at the alter, does not mean this is acceptable in real life.
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