Free Downloads How To Raise A Jewish Dog
Questions to Ask a Breeder: 1. What kind of job is this, growing dogs? 2. Are these dogs nice? I mean of course they are. But if not, is this refundable? 3. Is this a stable business? Do you make a decent living? 4. Does the insurance kill you or is it okay? 5. Dogs are animals ? does this mean you qualify for some kind of Federal ranch subsidies? 6. What do I say to people who want to know how I can spend $1500 and up on a dog when there are so many dogs to be rescued from the pound? The (make-believe) Rabbis of the (fictional) Boca Raton Theological Seminary have developed the essential dog training program for raising a Jewish dog. For the first time, the same dynamic blend of passive-aggressiveness and smothering indulgence, that unique alloy of infantilization and disingenuous manipulation that created generations of high-achieving Jewish boys and girls, can be applied to create a generation of high-achieving Jewish doggies. Written (for real) by Ellis Weiner and Barbara Davilman, co-authors of the bestselling Yiddish with Dick and Jane and Yiddish with George and Laura, this essential "guide" is sure to be a complete howl.
Paperback: 176 pages
Publisher: Little, Brown and Company (September 5, 2007)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0316154660
ISBN-13: 978-0316154666
Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.4 x 8.2 inches
Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars See all reviews (88 customer reviews)
Best Sellers Rank: #58,780 in Books (See Top 100 in Books) #80 in Books > Humor & Entertainment > Humor > Cats, Dogs & Animals #114 in Books > Humor & Entertainment > Humor > Parodies #579 in Books > Humor & Entertainment > Humor > Satire
In the words of a famous rabbi, we all should strive to be the people that our dogs think we are. And this will help you to train your dog to know how good you are and train you as well.The authors of "Yiddish with Dick and Jane" have written a more insightful book which can be used to raise dogs, as well as families; for are our dogs not our children? It seems as if there is a rabbinical seminary started in Boca (BCTS: Boca Raton Theological Seminary, serving neo Revisionist Progressive Reform Trans. synagogues), but they figured out that in addition to Tanakh, they were very good at training canines (Barbara's cousin's roommate's sister's boyfriend's therapist turned the authors onto the seminary's success with their dog, Sam).So..., nu, and how do they train them? And "Why is a Jewish dog different from all other dogs?" In the spirit of Jonathan Segal Chicken, they train dogs the Jewish way. These rabbis teach us that we should tell our dogs how it hurts us when they do the wrong thing, and how we should compare them to other dogs who behave properly in order to guilt them into the proper behavior. Jewish dogs do NOT need dog whisperers. No. With a Jewish dog, loudness and over the top unconditional (sort of conditional) love and doggie treats and scrambled eggs are allowed. Jewish dogs don't get scolded, they get guilted. Most dogs are trained to follow commands and be good dogs. Jewish dogs are trained to be perfect so as not to disappoint those who love them. They are trained to fear lunatics, and be paranoid of those who are not part of the family. Jewish dogs should possess an exaggerated sense of its own wonderfulness.In addition to tables and so much training information, there are great pictures of dogs and their owners(?), masters(?
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